20.000 LEGUAS DE VIAJE SUBMARINO PDF

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I was actually looking forward to listening to this. Plus, I usually have better luck when it comes to these older novels if I listen to the audiobook instead of trying to wade through all the crunchy dialogue with my eyeballs. So, between those factors, I thought this would be a complete winner.

But ho-ly shit this was terrible. Ok, how to describe this book? The vast majority of this thing: Lattitude 54, Longitude Then Aronnax would go on to describe in excruciating detail every fucking thing about whatever chunk of seaweed, fish, oyster bed, sediment, etc.

Or some other such nonsense. Where was the action I was promised?! Where was the adventure?! Still, I remembered hearing about the famous Scene With The Giant Squid and I figured it might make all of this other garbage worth wading through. Supposedly, it was this super awesome battle between man and cephalopod that left a lasting impression on people. Let me save you some trouble. See, I thought that there was some menacing squid following them that decided to attack the sub and try to drag it to the bottom, or crush it with its massive tentacles, or break it open to slurp out the crew with a straw, or But no.

A group of big-ass squids was swimming by, a few got curious, one of the poor bastards got tangled around the fan or whatnot, and then when the crew when out to "fight" it off the Nautilus one of them got tossed off and killed.

The End. There was a shining moment when I thought things were going to finally get cool as the Nautilus passed over Atlantis.

Fucking Atlantis! These turds got out to explore every dull coral bed along the way, so surely they would stop and meander around this magically advanced civilization, right?

They just floated on past it. Bye, Aquaman And after that, I think I just lost the will to even try to muster up a few shits for the rest of it. I mean, really? Why the hell would anyone go to all that trouble of building this masterpiece of a submarine just for revenge?

Just track the fuckers down and shoot them in the head. It would be waaaaay easier and ultimately less time-consuming. Oh, and their stupid secret language that they spoke on board? It was probably Pig Latin, because everything else they did seemed like something thought up by a 10 year old.

The only fun thing about this was Ned Land. Name another volatile Canuck in literature. Kind of hard to do, eh?

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